Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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