Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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