Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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