I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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